“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” II Cor. 6:14
Dating should be to find the right mate. Finding the “right one” is one of the most important decisions one will make. Too many have made 
wrong choices that they have later regretted.
Here is some advice (some based on biblical principles; others by observation) for helping a Christian to find the right mate:
- Pray for the right mate! I know of young people that started praying for the right life partner in their early teen years.
- Grow yourself! Some seek a mate when they can barely take care of themselves, let alone meet the needs of another!
- Be patient! An opportunity for a date does not necessarily mean it is God’s will! If you are praying about the right mate, God knows about the need. He will provide. You or your future spouse may not be ready yet; so do not rush God’s working in the situation.
- Seek only a Christian (II Cor. 6:14)!
- Seek a Christian that is as spiritually mature, or more so, than you are. A couple with one that has been saved for a long time, and one that has just gotten saved, may have problems; as the young Christian may need to mature spiritually.
- Seek one that you can look up to, not one that you have to “fix” with which to be happy.
- Seek one in the right places. A bar, nightclub, or other worldly place is not a place one usually finds a strong Christian. A strong Christian will be where strong Christians hangout: church, serving the Lord in a ministry, helping others, etc.
- Seek one that you like. Best friends make the best marriage partners.
- Seek one for their character, moral values, and closeness to the Lord. Marrying a person for their looks may lead to disappointment after age changes one’s appearance.
- Seek God’s will and way in the search!
- “Trying before you buy it” (pre-marital sex) is SIN and will not get God’s blessing on the relationship!
- Do not necessarily seek a mate that is just like you. I have observed, and experienced, some of the best marriages are of two that are not the same. In areas where one is weak, the other is strong, and vice versa. The two “halves” make a perfect whole that only God can put together.
otme 7/16
Bro Brinkworth,
Many years ago, a person I have a lot of confidence in regarding Godly parenting shared this with me. He called it a dating covenant … he had made this with each of his children, who all had successful marriages.
This is what he shared:
1. Any prospective mate must be a Christian. Not by just saying so, but by fruit.
2. A potential mate must believe in the inerrancy of scripture. If not, you have no foundation for a family.
3. You must have the blessing of both sets of parents before you proceed. Not doing so invites trouble later.
4. A potential mate must be willing to follow his or her biblical role in the family.
5. A potential mate must be someone who brings me closer to Christ
and I added
6. A potential mate must have a servant’s heart.
I understand for each person one beds in the eyes of God they are married .
Some say it is so. Not all.
Bro.Bill, you’re exactly right! Me and my wife have been together for 20yrs, but married for 18yrs, and we didn’t do things biblically when we first met! We shacked up together, and had a child out of wedlock! We were lost and didn’t care anything about the things of God! We didn’t see the importance of getting married! To us at the time (and like most people today), marriage was just simply a “sheet of paper!”
Our oldest child is grown, living with a man she’s not married to, has a child on the way (Praise God for our first grandchild, regardless of how its coming into this world)! We raised both of our kids to wait and pray for their spouse, and to not do the things me and my wife did! Unfortunately, my daughter is going down the same path my wife and I did!
When I hear people say about marriage “It’s just a sheet of paper on the wall”, I respond, “Give me all the money in your wallet! It’s just paper!” – Or, “Give me the title to your car! It’s just paper!” They then realize the importance of marriage!
I try to encourage young couples all the time to #1) Get saved! #2) Get married before shaking up! #3) Pray together and read God’s Word together! #4) RAISE THEIR CHILDREN IN CHURCH! The younger, the better!
Parents will tell me all the time, “I’m going to let my kids make their own decision about whether they want to go to church or not!” – I tell them that’s ridiculous! Parents make their kids take a bath! Parents make their kids go to school! Parents make their kids eat! MAKE THEM GO TO CHURCH!
Sorry I comment so much!
I have always felt, but could not totally prove with Scripture, that marriage was between a man and a woman and God. It is a covenant between a couple and God. A marriage will not work without God! People try to exclude Him, and that is why there are so many divorces.
I appreciate your comments. It helps others understand that there is more than one believes the way I do. Most only here the convoluted way the world see things, and it may help them think more biblically if they realize not everyone thinks the way the media shows them.
This is preaching I hear often. Glad my kids are getting it because I did not. The Lord did bless me with an awesome Godly wife, but it had nothing to do with me being prepared.
I have one married to a stable, hard working, Holiness young man that she is not only equally yoked with, but it is a situation where they make each other better. (1+1=3) The other 2 children are younger, and I don’t think they can hear this message enough.
Make no mistake, situations where people are unequally yoked seldom work out well for the couple or the children.
Warnings such as this devotion are so important.
Praise God for my lovely, beautiful, Christian, Godly, Holiness wife, who lives to serve God and her husband and kids!!!!
I appreciate the feedback. I should have asked, and would like to have it posted now, if any of you out there have other biblical or sound advice you would like to add those that are searching for a life mate.
I would like to add:
Amen! I believe with all my heart that if people followed these principles, divorced rates would probably be non-existent!
Agreed. Sadly, however, more and more Christians are getting divorces, only attributing to the fact that they do not read and practice what is taught in the Bible. The Bible is God’s Word, and Father’s knows best! He knows who is right for you. Wait patiently, be faithful in doing all He has shown you to do, and wait on His choice!