It is always sad to see a once flourishing relationship replaced with little or no communication, much bitterness, angriness, and unforgiveness. Unfortunately, many have to shamefully hang their head and admit that a relationship in their lives is not what it should be, or what it once was. It could be a family member, spouse, or acquaintance.
Sadder, over time the reason for the separation may even be forgotten, but still someone does not talk to the other or a grudge is still held. It is easy to come up with excuses as to how we are justified in saying or doing what we did to the other. Whatever the justification, the result is still the same, and a relationship has been shattered.
It is important to work on and repair any damage in any relationship. Here is some of what the Bible says
about resolving our differences:
- A friendship should be at ALL times, not just when things are going well. With this in mind, there should not be permanent problems between you and your friends, because they are your friends! Any disagreements should be resolved as quickly as possible!
“A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17 - No matter what is done to us, we still should forgive others; no matter how many times we feel wronged.
“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21 Also: Luke 17:3-4 - Love those that wrong you; do not hate them!
“Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth …Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him.” Proverbs 24:17-18
“… Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you ….” Matthew 5:44-45 - Return unkindness and ill treatment with kind, Godly forgiveness.
“Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not …” Romans 12:14-16
“Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:20-21 - “Getting even” should not be on the Christian’s agenda!
“Recompense to no man evil for evil. … avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Roman 12:17-19 - God has forgiven us. We should forgive others.
“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” Colossians 3:13 - An unforgiving attitude will come between you and the Father.
“But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.” Mark 11:26 Also: Mark 11:25-26, Matthew 6:12-15, Luke 6:36
“ Well, you don’t know what that person did to me.!
“No, I don’t, but you know what you did against God, and He forgave you! So, forgive that person!”
The principle of forgiveness is simple, but runs counter to our worldly desire to defend our right to.be right. Our Lord modeled forgiveness for us while paying the price for our forgiveness.
Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not …” Romans 12:14-16
“Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:20-21
Isn’t this what we are doing for the mussies and they are demanding their laws , killing , raping and so on ?
As for falling out with others sometimes one has to for their own health like being around a narcissist and being put down all the time and so on one has to get away from that or the so called friends and family that cause one harm so whether we forgive them I feel as it is a repeat issue that keeps causing one grief as to make ones health collapse one needs to get or stay away .. no contact … I do not think Father means for us to be sitting ducks ?
Bro Shad MacDonald from Pascagoula MS tells a story about two men in a church that fell out with one another. When he told it from the pulpit, he said that in this particular church there was a group of men that did things together…. fish, take short trips, etc… and they had invited this newcomer to the church many times on these trips to no avail. Finally one of the men commented to the gentlemen that had declined their invitations that he must be henpecked. He became offended at this suggestion visibly and countered that he was NOT henpecked. The other ol’ boy, not willing to leave well enough alone, said…well.. you shore have some chicken house ways then… and they fell out over that.
While everyone was laughing in the congregation.. Bro MacDonald said..Don’t you laugh, you have fallen out with someone for less!
To Brother Brinkworth’s point about flourishing relationships souring…I was just discussing with my business partner yesterday how this one particular couple can not seem to get victory. Both of us agreed that those you love the most are the people you will get the angriest with. We have to get a determination not to let those upsets be permanent.
I have two sister-in-laws that haven’t talked to each other in several years due to a disagreement. Both of them are waiting for the other one to apologize first!
My wife and I have told both of them that one them has to make the move first in order to resolve the situation regardless of who was right or wrong! This would be an excellent devotion for me to share with them!
Here is another article that reinforces what you suggested about one going first: http://www.openthoumineeyes.com/articles/tothetree.html.